THE BITERION COLLECTION: Eclipse

The other day, in preparation for watching Eclipse, I re-watched New Moon and Twilight. I don't have that many original observations (though I'm sure sooner or later I'll dress them down on tumblr), but I just want to say that I think I came down too hard on Twilight the first time around. It's kind of... brilliant? I mean, the bizarre editing I originally hated comes off as nervy and interesting now – vampire baseball is still over the top, but take a look at the scene where Bella gets Edward to confess he is a vampire. It looks like it was cut together by Jean-Luc Goddard or something, I'm not even kidding. The overwhelming blue-and-greeness (even the Arizona scenes are blue and green, which seems like a mistake!) of the first movie makes New Moon (and Eclipse, to a lesser extent) look drab and staid by comparison. Twilight also has a self-effacing self-awareness that New Moon weirdly lacks; New Moon tries to behave like a normal, serious movie. And obviously, these are not normal, serious movies.

Eclipse marries the slick production values of New Moon with the jittery self-awareness of Twilight. That sounds like the best of both worlds, and maybe it is? It's hard to say that Eclipse is the best Twilight film, even though it probably is, because none of the Twilight films are very good. My opinion of Eclipse is mostly neutral; I neither liked nor disliked it. I can only fairly say that “I watched it.” I did watch it. It was a movie.

Much like New Moon, Melissa Rosenberg has condensed and edited the plot action such that the film makes more sense than the books ever did. Rather than play up the mystery of the murders in Seattle, we get a parallel story more or less starring Xavier Samuel as Riley Biers; it ends up being structured a lot like Twilight. Here's Edward and Bella in a field, arguing about shit, here's a quickly edited scene of some bad shit happening elsewhere. It fits together better than the two threads in Twilight, because it isn't wholly a screenwriting contrivance. It's mostly a screenwriting contrivance, though.

Still, kudos to Rosenberg, her job is not dissimilar to what we do on this blog. Toward the end of the film, there's a scene where Bella comes home to find Charlie walking Alice to the door. Alice informs Bella that she's given her an alibi for the weekend; the two of them are having a sleepover. You'll remember that in the book that alibi is established through what I called “a complicated-ass Rube Goldberg of a scene” where Alice keeps talking about her family abandoning her and stomping on Bella's foot, trying to force Charlie to come up with the idea on his own. Why? By cutting, Rosenberg saves the film from falling into the same logic holes the book does.

She also cuts out S. Meyer's most objectionable shit: Quil imprinting on a two-year-old is gone, and since we can't see see Bella's thoughts and Jacob doesn't take time to explain himself, we can't see what creeps both of them really are. It hurts the story in that you can't see how batshit Twilight really is, but it helps the story in that Bella's “choice” really feels like a “choice.” (That choice motif is driven hard, though. Take a drink every time someone says “choice.” Just kidding, you'll die.)

Never Forget.

Moment for moment, this movie has some great set pieces. Our first re-introduction to Jacob is camp-tastic, if that is a word. The graduation scene/montage is great. Training for the battle with the Cullens is a good time. The fight with the newborns is visually compelling and all too brief. Victoria's head getting busted off is totally satisfying. You are so dead, Victoria!

(Spoiler Alert)

There are still plenty of problems: multiple scenes of dialogue go on for uncomfortable lengths, kind of like Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof but quite not as bad and with more awkward pausing. Sections of the film drag miserably. A lot of depth and shading is regrettably cut: Edward doesn't crush an iron flower to symbolize the way he'd demolish Bella's vagina, for one thing. Cinematically, we needed that moment.

Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner have only gotten better at somehow straddling the gap between seeming engaged in the material on the screen and being somehow above it. Kristen Stewart barely registers, but is really pretty.

Just try not to look directly at her hairline. Billy Burke remains a fucking gift from the gods. This guy, am I right?

Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone actually DO have a lot of sexual chemistry, the Atlantic was right. There is not enough of either of them in here, I don't care if 85% of that opinion is my personal bias. I was also upset to see that Alice doesn't wear red leather pants and a sequined top to the graduation party, but holding out for that one was a long shot.

I'd give the same sexual chemistry compliment to Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuel, or maybe BDH just brings that to the table on her own. I mean, clearly Victoria is hot: all Edward has to do is chuck a lighter at her and she bursts into flames! Why didn't you do that in the first place, dude?

Hahahaha. And then there is Peter Facinelli. YIKES. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, Dr. Cullen? He is suddenly British, or else from Marblehead, Massachusetts. What on earth is that about? It is true that Jasper also suddenly develops a Southern drawl, yes. But Jackson Rathbone manages to play it off like an affectation: Jasper gets all Confederatey when he's giving a lecture or flirting with Alice (if you know Southern expatriates, you know the drawl really does come and go). There is no way to rationalize Carlisle's sudden new (horrible, by the way) accent. Unless it's a “there can only be one highlander” kind of thing and now that Robert Pattinson's accent isn't bad, someone else has to fall off the map. But anyway: yikes.

"Someone's OAHKESTRAYTEENG this."-Dr. Cullen

But that I can say Peter Facinelli is the WORST FUCKING PART of this movie says a lot about the rest of the movie. The rest of it is not bad! Not good, but not bad either! Even Dr. Cullen gets one shining moment, when he finally shuts his retarded-sounding mouth and starts kicking some ass.

Booyah! So, if you haven't already: Mary HK Choi's and Natasha Vargas-Cooper's review of Eclipse is a MUST READ. Here is what they have to say about that final fight:

Mary: What was up with everyone "shattering" like they were freeze-dried fruit? Is that the baseline now? I feel like we should've gotten a warning on that.
Natasha: Like the Terminator 2 style nitrogen shit?
Mary: YES.
Natasha: I didn't know that all you had to do to kill a vampire was like… aim??

So good. Anyway, what did you all think of this movie? I have more nitpicky things to say, I think, but I will save them for the comments.