WRITING BREAKING DAWN: Seth Clearwater Tries To Have Sex With Alice Cullen

“How are you?” Seth Clearwater asked. “How's your head?”
“Better, thanks.” Alice shifted gingerly on the couch. “I mean, I still feel like I got face-fucked by a rhino. But a rhino with a smaller cock than the one before.”
“Oh,” Seth said. This was the third or fourth time Alice had said something so vulgar he'd been mentally incapable of coming up with a response. He liked the Cullens a lot, and Alice had always seemed cool to him, but now that he was really getting to know her he was a little scared. When, earlier that day, she'd told Jacob to “get raped by the business end of a pitchfork,” he'd just thought that was the normal vampire-werewolf animosity. But later she'd actually used the same expression to thank Rosalie for bringing her a blanket.

The blanket was discarded now, as she was so close to Seth that his body heat was enough. Across the room, Edward sat with Bella while Rosalie stood protectively over her. It was boring.
“Where's Jasper?” Seth asked her, conversationally.
“Oh, he's probably out cruising for pussy,” she said in a low voice. “I don't know for sure.”
“But I thought you two were together,” Seth scratched his head.
“We're not exclusive, Seth, c'mon. It's not 1955. Not that we were exclusive then, either.” She hissed, and closed her eyes; another wave of pain washed over her. “And as you can see, at the moment, I'm not doing a very good job of keeping Jasper's balls drained.”
“You two were having sex when I came in,” Seth pointed out. "On the floor, over there."
“That was like two hours ago!” she said, exasperated. “You expect him to wait that long? I really can't blame him. But I'll be ready to go when he gets back.” Another wave of pain undercut her confidence.
“It must have been pretty awful before you figured out that being around our kind made you feel better,” Seth observed.
“There wasn't enough booze in all of Forks for me,” she said.
“You're the one who robbed that liquor store? Cleaned the whole thing out?” he asked in awe.
“Front page news,” Alice grinned, then winced.
“Police are saying it was a few dozen gang members up from Los Angeles,” Seth said in disbelief.
“No way. I rolled with the Crips for a while in the early nineties,” Alice said. “They couldn't do a job that well. FUCK!” she moaned and grabbed her forehead, then made a "jerking off" gesture for some reason.
“Would it be easier if we sat closer together?” Seth said, sliding over and putting his arm around her.
“That's the ticket!” Alice said, snuggling into his chest. “It's fucking hot now, though.” She unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them off.
Seth gulped. Sure. she was a vampire, but she was also really pretty. And slutty. His chances with his own people were pretty slim, especially since even by himself he sometimes got so excited that he phased prematurely. It would be nice to be with a girl he couldn't hurt too badly if that happened.
How to proceed? Seth thought. He wanted to be smooth, but unfortunately all of the older boys he knew were anything but smooth. What would Jacob do? Seth wondered.
“Have sex with me or I'll kill myself!” he blurted.
“What?” Alice said quietly, still leaning on his shoulder with her eyes closed. Rosalie and Edward did not look up.
“Um, if it feels good to have me close, would it feel better to have me, you know, inside you?” Seth blushed.
“Worth a shot,” Alice said, but then she really considered it. “Wait, but you're just a kid, Seth.”
“No, no, I mean, mentally sure, but physically I'm older.” He overemphasized the “physically.”
“Trying to convince me you have a big dick?” she asked, finally turning around to look at him, then glancing down. “Because, be advised that you have a pretty serious boner right now. And you're wearing cut-off sweatpants.”
“Oh.” Seth said, covering himself.
“No, I mean, it's fine. It's natural. Nothing I haven't seen before. Well, actually, this is the first time I've seen cut-off sweatpants.” She couldn't help but shudder a little.
“It isn't natural though, right?” Seth said, suddenly feeling guilty. “We're mortal enemies. It's wrong.”
“I might instinctively bite your dick off instead of sucking it,” Alice admitted.
“It would probably just grow back,” Seth observed.
“Well, that would be pretty cool to see,” Alice said, smiling. “Do you have a condom?”
“Uh, I could get one from Jake, but do we really need it?”
“I'm not taking any risks these days,” Alice said, gesturing disdainfully over her shoulder.