SKINS S1E1: Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Skins! British kids! Drugs! Near constant usage of the word "twat"! Punctuation outside of quotation marks! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks! Skins in whom I sit lonely! Skins in whom I dream angels! Crazy in Skins! Cocksucker in Skins! Lacklove and manless in Skins!

So yeah, Skins is a show about scrappy British kids doing drugs and fucking each other. Beast from X-Men is here! This episode is named after his character, Tony, but it mostly concerns Tony's plan to get his friend Sid laid. It ends up being more Sid's story than Tony's. Maybe this episode should be called "Sid"! Whoa, I am bringing so much insight already. This episode is enjoyable, and quite funny, and rather British, yeah? But also there isn't much to it! It's 45 minutes long, and I feel like it could have been FIVE minutes and would have been about the same.

Twats! You get it. Anyway I was worried that I wouldn't be able to understand the British accents, but I mostly could. There were some exceptions, but I think I wasn't supposed to understand those parts?

PLOT SUMMARY: Tony auditions for the choir at a private, all-girls' school near his technical school. He's a good singer, and the rich, sheltered-seeming chicks over there invite him and his friends to a party. Tony's idea of a party doesn't quite align with theirs, at first.

But whatever, Tony needs a party in order to get Sid's V-card punched. It's pretty clearly established right away that Tony and his sister and all of his friends are a bunch of sluts though, so it's kind of weird that getting Sid laid would even be that hard? Look around you, Sid! But apparently Sid is just so thoroughly unfuckable that Tony makes him go buy a bunch of weed--they're going to date rape someone, basically (with weed I guess!), and Tony and his girlfriend (Michelle) and Sid all have no problem with this. But Tony eventually finds out that there is currently a bumper crop of weed out there, though, and so Sid doesn't really even need to buy it. But he gets guilted into buying A LOT, in a scene that is only funny if you REALLY find mustaches amusing.

So then Tony and his douchebag friends go to the party, and you learn why you should like them: They are like, pure beams of entropy and they totally destroy the dumb rich kids. I readily admit to buying wholesale into this kind of class-welfare porn. FUCK THOSE RICH KIDS UP, SKINS GANG! YEAH!

At the party, the best thing happens: WE MEET CASSIE, a friend of Tony's girlfriend, WHO IS GREAT ALREADY.

EAT YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT, ALASKA YOUNG. Sid almost gets to fuck Cassie, but she seemingly ODs and dies. WHOOPS! But then she comes back to life like it was no big deal. The blasé attitude they takes toward this kind of thing is weirdly infectious, I mean this episode ends with the suggestion that one of their friends and a random Polish girl might have drowned to death and it's hilarious! SKINS! 

After fleeing the party, Tony accidentally drives a stolen car into the river. Everybody is fine (except for the two people who might be dead LOL) but Sid's huge weed stash goes down with the ship. Which means that mustache is going to be mad at him! OK, I am basically on board with this show.