WRITING TWILIGHT: An Apple A Day Keeps The (Vampire) Doctor Away

It has come to my attention that there is a lot of Twilight Fan Fiction out there. For the moment I am staying away—spoilers and all that—but I know that with my pedigree as an emerging Twilight scholar sooner or later I’ll have to start writing some. So from time to time on this blog, I will post some potential submissions for your reading/reviewing pleasure. We can all do this, dear readers. You’re talented people, I can tell from the comments. Speaking of that—I would urge those who don’t already to check the comments on some older posts. People are making some great points! There is substantive discussion going on! About Twilight!

So now, a short story I have titled “An Apple A Day Keeps The (Vampire) Doctor Away.”

Edward Cullen considered the apple. He remembered liking them as a child. Fruit was sweet, wasn’t it? Probably not as sweet as the blood of the certain varieties of rabbit he and Jasper had found a few weeks ago, but sweet nonetheless. It will probably taste like dirt, he thought, but sweet dirt. That didn't sound too bad.

“Edward, what the fuck?” Bella was looking at him quizzically.
“I just thought maybe I’d take a bite of this apple,” he said in the gentle cadences of an earlier century.
“Well, you’re staring at it like you’re going to fuck it.” Bella said with an edge to her voice.
“You don’t want to see me eat it?” He asked, smiling wryly.
“I’ve seen you eat before. It was nothing special.” She tried to sound sarcastic in an endearing way, but she realized that she probably just sounded like a bitch.

Edward's eyes were warm, but his lips were closed in a straight line. His neck was taut, and his fingers were clenched, white-knuckled, around the apple. He smiled politely, but with a note of menace. His expression was difficult to read.

Bella slapped the table impatiently, but lovingly. “Do it bitch,” she said gently.
Edward moved to take a subtle bite. His teeth nibbled on the surface, equivocating. “You’d like me to eat you, wouldn’t you, little apple?” He said in barely a whisper.
“What?” Bella asked.
“Nothing,” he murmured. He turned back to the apple. “And maybe I will. After all, I certainly could. My teeth are razor sharp. You wouldn’t be able to resist me.” He took a small bite, tearing voraciously into the flesh. He chewed with a threatening, but vaguely comforting rotation of his perfect jawbone. “I shouldn’t eat you, and yet I am powerless!” He screamed out loud.
Across the cafeteria, several students looked over curiously.
Bella felt the blood surge to her cheeks. She knew Edward would notice.

But he did not. He took a second bite, with a certain kindness in his eyes and violence in his hands. He swallowed the bite of flesh whole.
“What am I doing here?” he said sadly.
“Eating an apple like a jackass,” Bella said forlornly.
“I have some human instincts,” Edward said defensively.
“You have mostly human instincts,” Bella countered crossly. “You are sitting here at a table talking in a human voice attending a human school. You’re not running through the woods on all fours or making guttural noises or anything,” she continued conversationally.
“But I’m dangerous,” he talked talkingly.
Bella looked aroused, but also humiliated.

“Apple,” Edward said addressingly, “I am going to take another bite now. But I’m learning restraint.” His smile was pleasant. His third bite was not so pleasant. He rotated the apple around so fast it was a blur. He aggressively placed the chewed up core down on the table tenderly. His face was placid, but full of rage.

“What was that about?” Bella asked, her voice full of irritation.
“Fuck you Bella,” Edward said magnificently.