As previously established, we've pretty much run out of conflict here. If you're the really curious type, maybe you're wondering what will happen with Sam and the wolf pack. Well, that gets answered for you in this chapter: nothing! That's right, that one gets wrapped up with a pretty little bow, too. So we're waiting for whatever arc S. Meyer is going to throw at us for this final third. Which feels pretty weird, right? The story, as we knew it, has ended. And yet there is still a bunch of book here! What is the meaning of this?Glass half full (of blood): maybe this last little section will be great. Maybe something unexpected will happen. Maybe there will be a dragon!
Glass half empty (of blood): this is the beginning of a long, protracted conclusion that will continue to end for a few hundred pages like Return of the King.
At the very least, let's try to introduce some conflict in the absence of any: Who will be my favorite member of the Cullen family by the end of this book?
CULLENS IN ORDER OF HOW MUCH I LIKE THEM, AS OF NOW
1. Alice
2. Jasper
3. Emmett
4. Esme
5. Carlisle
6. Rosalie
7. Bella
8. Edward
9. Renesmee
Sorry, Nez, but you haven't done much yet! If this or a future chapter alters the rankings, I'll let you know.
Chapter 23: Memories
So we start with Bella and Edward and Seth a few minutes after Bella attacked Jacob; Seth is being treated by Carlisle for a broken shoulder he received at Bella's hands when he jumped in the way. So okay, fuck, Jacob is not dead. Yet. Bella is predictably beating herself up over her TOTALLY JUSTIFIABLE reaction, saying “nothing Jacob had done could have mitigated my behavior.” REALLY? Announcing his intention to have sex with your infant daughter doesn't mitigate a THREAT of violence? There's some notably clumsy expository dialog; we haven't had much of that in a while thanks to the brief, wonderfully fluid mind-reading-and-dialog mix of book two.
“You don't know what you got till you abruptly change narrators again”-Joni Mitchell
Seth mentions that he sure is thankful that she didn't bite him, and Bella lets us know that vampire venom is poisonous to werewolves. Uh, isn't it poisonous to everyone? This is a different kind of poisonous, though. Okay. Sure. “Lucky thing Ness—Renesmee's not venemous,” Seth says. Nearly every character who appears in this scene starts to use RNSM's nickname before switching to her full one. She appears as “Ness—Renesmee” more often than not in this chapter. Like S. Meyer is trying to find ways to make it even worse. Speaking of making things even worse, Seth notes that RNSM bites Jacob “all the time.” UGH course she does. (Glass half full: she's trying to kill him, and soon enough she will be strong enough to do it.)
We also hear—and this is more or less dropped in at random somewhere—that even though Alice, Esme, and Emmett have gone hunting, Jasper has stayed behind to lurk in the shadows and keep a close but unobtrusive eye on Bella. (Glass half full: “Jasper would really feel more comfortable if you stayed in the room while we had sex, Bella”-Alice Cullen) But is it really safe for such a small hunting party to be out and about? S. Meyer seems to realize the issue midway through the page, and Bella lets us know that she's recently heard that the treaty has been re-established. Oh that's good!
What happened, apparently, was Jacob went to the Rez to tell Sam that he'd imprinted on RNSM. And apparently the pack has a NAMBLA-like support system where they won't ever harm each other's imprint victims or otherwise get in the way of all the statutory raping. It's sort of like how friends don't fuck each other's exes, but more evil. It's hard to figure when, in the past, another wolf would have reason to kill another dude's woman, since said women were probably not human-vampire hybrids, but whatever. It has apparently happened in the past—somebody's mate got killed—and since everyone telepathically felt the anguish it nearly tore the pack apart. Now, none of this REALLY makes any sense, because Jacob, Seth, and Leah ARE NO LONGER IN Sam's pack, so it's not like he'd have to feel Jacob's pain if he offed RNSM anyway, but who really gives a good damn at this point? Not me. Oh and the alphas from different packs can talk to each other when they want to. If that matters (it doesn't).
Bella thinks about the risk Jacob took walking alone to whatever the Quileute version of Versailles is (a Wendy's off of 101a) and marvels at how much she owes him. Uh, I think you guys are square, Bella. Especially since in this chapter S. Meyer starts trying to warm us to the idea that she's going to let Jacob get away with this. UGH in advance.
Anyway, so the wolf threat has been neutralized. “One big worry down,” Bella says, as if we don't have nearly 300 pages to go. The other worry, in Bella's mind, is Charlie. She still wants to stick with her weird plan where she'll just expose herself to her father (okay, I could have phrased that better) and let him make the wrong guess; Edward ejaculates unicorn blood or whatever. Here, Jasper insists that they will have to leave town, and Bella can't bear the thought. She even thinks of the fact that they'd leave Jacob, who would then be without RNSM. She briefly relishes the thought of taking her child away from him (AS SHE SHOULD) but chastises herself for the “petty ire” she feels. I know I have knocked the fundamental conservative outlook of this book before, but this stance toward sex offenders is too liberal for me. I mean, I don't think they should all have to live under a bridge in Orlando, but I don't cry when I watch To Catch A Predator either.
Jacob and Rosalie bring RNSM into the house, and we learn that Carlisle measures her four times a day. The picture of Carlisle as this ever-curious, data-collecting scientist is approaching parody, isn't it? There was that moment a few chapters ago when he was full of self-satisfaction after being lied to about the painlessness of her transformation by Bella, and here he is seen measuring RNSM's head with a fucking tape measure. Being a man of science is increasingly becoming a liability in this book, sort of like America in general. Anyway, Bella describes RNSM's skin as being like “backlit alabaster,” which is a free band name one of you can have if you want it. I have too many already.
Carlisle doesn't write down numbers because he has “perfect recall." So if vampire brains are so perfect, what is up with Bella's awkward sentence construction in this chapter? Renesmee is appealing to Bella “in a very non-food way.” Later she feels “a very small bit less guilty.” (On a recent episode of the /Filmcast, Adam Quigley talked about the issue with a movie like Limitless, which supposes that a pill exists which makes you a genius. The “genius” character is only as smart as the screenwriter, and if that person is not a genius, that's kind of a problem. We're encountering a similar issue here.)
When Bella gets to hold RNSM again, her daughter projects a series of images into Bella's brain, more or less walking her through her entire day.
“Oh my GOD this is boring! You know, I could tell you about MY day! Have you ever even thought to ask?”-Alice
When RNSM recalls being fed human blood, Bella's thirst flares up. Edward, who is following along in RNSM's brain, freaks out and takes the baby out of Bella's arms. Jasper restrains her. But of course, Bella is fine. (She even mentions that being restrained by him isn't painful. “Noted.”-Alice Cullen) When he realizes he overreacted, Edward is thrilled. And Jasper storms out of the room.
I'm divided on this one. Edward explains to Carlisle and Bella that Jasper feels bad because the ease with which Bella has transitioned is making him question the hard time he's been having for, you know, decades. Glass half full: It's an interesting character moment, but glass half empty: the language Edward uses makes me a little uncomfortable.
“He's wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as we've always thought, or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Even now—perhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes it's natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations.”
Maybe it's the discussion we've been having lately, but doesn't it sound like Jasper's been to one of those religious de-gayification camps? I mean, in Twilight resisting the urge to bite a human is synonymous with abstinence generally, but it's the “natural” part that is sending up red flags for me, there. Jasper has a hard time being himself, and he wants to be able to change. He's all season one David Fisher on us right now. Any other symbolic meaning of Edward's explanation doesn't quite work because of the word “natural”—Twilight's own favorite metaphor is heroin addiction, but no one claims heroin addiction is a natural state.
Think back to that interpretation of the Cullens as the hetero ideal in a queer world. The vampire default is queer: abnormal sexual arrangements all around. Jasper is drawn to the free love (in which love=violence) but Bella sticks to the straight-and-narrow easily. It's boring to us, but it's a victory to S. Meyer; Bella was lead not into temptation.
Bella thinks about the risk Jacob took walking alone to whatever the Quileute version of Versailles is (a Wendy's off of 101a) and marvels at how much she owes him. Uh, I think you guys are square, Bella. Especially since in this chapter S. Meyer starts trying to warm us to the idea that she's going to let Jacob get away with this. UGH in advance.
Anyway, so the wolf threat has been neutralized. “One big worry down,” Bella says, as if we don't have nearly 300 pages to go. The other worry, in Bella's mind, is Charlie. She still wants to stick with her weird plan where she'll just expose herself to her father (okay, I could have phrased that better) and let him make the wrong guess; Edward ejaculates unicorn blood or whatever. Here, Jasper insists that they will have to leave town, and Bella can't bear the thought. She even thinks of the fact that they'd leave Jacob, who would then be without RNSM. She briefly relishes the thought of taking her child away from him (AS SHE SHOULD) but chastises herself for the “petty ire” she feels. I know I have knocked the fundamental conservative outlook of this book before, but this stance toward sex offenders is too liberal for me. I mean, I don't think they should all have to live under a bridge in Orlando, but I don't cry when I watch To Catch A Predator either.
Jacob and Rosalie bring RNSM into the house, and we learn that Carlisle measures her four times a day. The picture of Carlisle as this ever-curious, data-collecting scientist is approaching parody, isn't it? There was that moment a few chapters ago when he was full of self-satisfaction after being lied to about the painlessness of her transformation by Bella, and here he is seen measuring RNSM's head with a fucking tape measure. Being a man of science is increasingly becoming a liability in this book, sort of like America in general. Anyway, Bella describes RNSM's skin as being like “backlit alabaster,” which is a free band name one of you can have if you want it. I have too many already.
"I'm chock full of bands names, bro. Oh my god: 'chock full of names!'"
Carlisle doesn't write down numbers because he has “perfect recall." So if vampire brains are so perfect, what is up with Bella's awkward sentence construction in this chapter? Renesmee is appealing to Bella “in a very non-food way.” Later she feels “a very small bit less guilty.” (On a recent episode of the /Filmcast, Adam Quigley talked about the issue with a movie like Limitless, which supposes that a pill exists which makes you a genius. The “genius” character is only as smart as the screenwriter, and if that person is not a genius, that's kind of a problem. We're encountering a similar issue here.)
When Bella gets to hold RNSM again, her daughter projects a series of images into Bella's brain, more or less walking her through her entire day.
“Oh my GOD this is boring! You know, I could tell you about MY day! Have you ever even thought to ask?”-Alice
When RNSM recalls being fed human blood, Bella's thirst flares up. Edward, who is following along in RNSM's brain, freaks out and takes the baby out of Bella's arms. Jasper restrains her. But of course, Bella is fine. (She even mentions that being restrained by him isn't painful. “Noted.”-Alice Cullen) When he realizes he overreacted, Edward is thrilled. And Jasper storms out of the room.
I'm divided on this one. Edward explains to Carlisle and Bella that Jasper feels bad because the ease with which Bella has transitioned is making him question the hard time he's been having for, you know, decades. Glass half full: It's an interesting character moment, but glass half empty: the language Edward uses makes me a little uncomfortable.
“He's wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as we've always thought, or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Even now—perhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes it's natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations.”
Maybe it's the discussion we've been having lately, but doesn't it sound like Jasper's been to one of those religious de-gayification camps? I mean, in Twilight resisting the urge to bite a human is synonymous with abstinence generally, but it's the “natural” part that is sending up red flags for me, there. Jasper has a hard time being himself, and he wants to be able to change. He's all season one David Fisher on us right now. Any other symbolic meaning of Edward's explanation doesn't quite work because of the word “natural”—Twilight's own favorite metaphor is heroin addiction, but no one claims heroin addiction is a natural state.
Think back to that interpretation of the Cullens as the hetero ideal in a queer world. The vampire default is queer: abnormal sexual arrangements all around. Jasper is drawn to the free love (in which love=violence) but Bella sticks to the straight-and-narrow easily. It's boring to us, but it's a victory to S. Meyer; Bella was lead not into temptation.
Anyway at some point Bella sees RNSM staring possessively at Jacob and says “he was hers now,” so I closed the book and decided that was enough for the day. RNSM ain't moving up in the rankings today. Call me when her teeth gets stronger.
7 comments:
And people think that fanfic writers have Mary-Sues. What the heck is RNSM, then?
Hell, what's Vampire!Bella?
O_O
This book is like 5 books hastily taped together all in one. There is one thing coming up that I'm interested to see your take on, though.
Jesus Christ, I've caught up after reading for like 4 days.
Yikes Bryan, from what point?
FROM THE BEGINNING.
YOWZA. I am sorry if I broke your brain.
I wish you'd compile a list of all the band names you've come up with so far. That would be so awesome.
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