BLOGGING TWILIGHT, The Deleted Scenes pt. 1: Some Things Are Better Left Undead

We’re really never going to run out of stuff to talk about here—the Twilight Universe seems to be expanding rapidly. I got into this thinking I was dealing with four books and four movies. Now it’s five movies, a novella, a graphic novel, and deleted and altered content from all four books that S. Meyer has made available online (I’ve also taken it upon myself to follow the careers of the actors made famous from the Twilight films, but that’s on me more than anyone.) There’s also something called Midnight Sun, which is basically S. Meyer’s Cardenio. So this week, I took it upon myself to read two of the deleted chapters from Twilight—it turns out we’re not done talking about it after all. Previous entries can be found in the sidebar-- Blogging New Moon can be found in the directory.

“Shopping With Alice”

So this is an alternate version of the 20th chapter—in the book we get Bella’s fractured-narrative, mostly past-perfect tense account of the drive from Forks to Phoenix. This one is much more linear, and a lot lighter. Bella’s misery at separation from Edward and the experience of a long and stressful drive have made her look like a meth addict, something even Bella seems to find darkly amusing as Alice drags her through a shopping mall in LA (en route to Phoenix). I also like the way we get a much fuller picture of the kind of lives the Cullens lead most of the time—they have multiple false identities and apparently adopt a “rich asshole” persona when they want people to stay out of their way. And it works! It’s hard to believe that Jasper has the self confidence to stride into a hotel like he owns the place, but maybe that’s because I’m working with his new personality as required by the plot of New Moon. (What if the receptionist got a paper cut?)

There are also some interesting details, like the way Alice has to stay in the shadows when she’s walking into a mall, and some interesting (and mild) social commentary, like the way salespeople seem to ignore Alice and Bella as a couple of weird lesbian drug addicts until Alice pulls out her credit card and they suddenly get all subservient. We also learn that Alice has a keen eye for the size of other women’s bodies (hmmmm), has a sharp memory, and is a particularly decisive shopper. Alice also seems to only buy very light clothing—so despite the fact that they are ice cold, vampires apparently avoid being warm when possible.

We were just talking about comedic interludes between dramatic moments—and having Alice unable to resist the temptation to shop even while on the run is kind of funny. It’s also great that this irony is really unacknowledged by Bella in the narration. This is acknowledged by S. Meyer to be a rough draft, so maybe that’s unintentional. (I therefore didn’t really look for formatting problems and ignored the fact that at one point Rosalie seems to named “Carol.”)

The comedy continues when they check into the hotel—Bella falls asleep and slides off the couch, hitting her head on the table. One time my brother did that when we were kids—actually we were wrestling and he bounced off a bed and hit his temple on the corner of a nightstand—and he cut his temple in such a way that blood started like, shooting out. It was actually kind of terrifying. But this time it’s funny. Jasper thinks so too, but that’s because there’s no blood, and no paper cuts. There’s also a very adorable moment when Bella is overwhelmed by the kindness Alice and Jasper are showing her—just because they get the hotel staff to bring her a toothbrush and stuff. It’s a great little character moment, cut apparently in the service of moving the plot along. But what plot? A book doesn’t have to be sleek like a 90-minute movie. Twilight is largely plotless, and the late introduction of a plot is kind of jarring. The inclusion of stuff like this would have softened the impact.

This version of the chapter also has the advantage of setting up the friendship between Bella and Alice. In New Moon we sort of just have to take Bella’s word for it—again, a bunch of past-perfect establishment—so it’s nice to see how it could have formed organically in the text.

It’s a good read, and I sort of wished S. Meyer had left it in. I see the appeal of switching up the narrative every now and then from a writing standpoint, but not from a reading one. When you think of the way the last hundred pages or so rocket through the action you kind of want it slowed down a little bit. Then again, I’m currently making notes for the first of several of Bella’s long interior monologues in New Moon, so be careful what you wish for I guess.

“Prom Remix”

I complained before about the lack of brand names and detail in the epilogue and prom scene on behalf of the fashion conscious among us, and obviously I regret that now. Once again a whole scene here became a past-perfect flashback in the book. It’s actually very similar to the way the Twilight and Harry Potter film adaptations save time by overlapping the dialogue from one scene in the book with a visual montage of something else. Different mediums, but essentially the same trick.

It’s another comedic scene, and again Jasper seems capable of doing things he is no longer capable of in New Moon. Rosalie obviously was a different character at some point in the writing process—a friendly, female mechanic, apparently. This chapter also uses the phrase “haute couture.” So there’s that.

Basically Alice and Rosalie get Bella real dressed up and stuff her into a corset (there’s an actual reference to cleavage—which is kind of surprising) and then everyone acts shocked that she looks so pretty. Shouldn’t it bother Bella that Edward pretends not to recognize her and then proceeds to talk about how beautiful she looks?

Jokes from New Moon show up originally here. It’s good to know that S. Meyer reuses jokes she didn’t get a chance to use the first time around—I have about 15 unused episodes of Rock and Sock and Robot that I go back and reconstitute every time I run out of ideas. Esme shows up to take pictures of Edward and Bella all dressed up, and Bella makes that crack about him not showing up on the film from Chapter 1 of New Moon.

The whole thing with Tyler being a dumbass is still here, and of course the central premise of Bella not understanding that she is going to prom. Again, we have a little more time, and there is less hinting that Bella thought anything else (a vampire induction ceremony, say) was happening. There’s really no reference to the fight about becoming a vampire, except for a brief moment where Alice & Rosalie seem to be contemplating vamping Bella to make her prettier for the prom. (Or something? I’m actually not clear on what is happening in that moment.) The point is Bella’s realization that she is being taken to prom seems far less ridiculous here than in the book.

There’s more comedy—where the other deleted chapter gave us “wacky Alice foibles,” this one gives us “wacky Charlie foibles.” He lusts after Edward’s “special occasion car,” an Aston Martin Vanquish, which is such a ridiculous car name it must be real. Edward makes dinner for Bella at her house, and the chapter (and presumably the book) ends as they drive away. I like the prom scene a lot though, so I can’t really endorse this as a replacement epilogue.

These were both pretty good though, and I have to give S. Meyer credit for being above board, posting all of this stuff online. Obviously I have to avoid most of her website until I get through the rest of the series, spoilers and all that. Plus it probably colors my experience in a certain way, and I think I said something about resolving to remain true to my own subjective experience a while ago. Maybe I didn’t say it here, maybe I said it in the shower. But the point is I look forward to checking out the rest of this stuff eventually. What did you think?