Bridges Too Far: RPF

For the most part, fandom is a healthy enough thing. Young people be obsessin'! That's the way it is. But sometimes things go too far. See Regretsy's Twilight section for many of those overlong bridges, so to speak.

There's also something called RPF, or "Real Person Fiction." So instead of writing about Alice Cullen fucking someone, you actually go so far as to write about Ashley Greene fucking someone. According to Small Screen Scoop, Ashley Greene is number 7 on the list of most RPFed celebrities. Allow me to go on record (am I on record now? okay) and say I find this terrifying. I understand that we experience celebrities through such a vast, multifaceted media prism that they might as well be fictional characters, but they still aren't. With very few exceptions, celebrities are actual human beings like you and me. Some of them are probably robots, but not that many.

Surprisingly, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart did not make the top ten. I guess a significant proportion of the fan population distinguishes between EdCullz and RPattz. The relative box office failure of Remember Me confirms as much. Maybe this is not so for Greene? She only has one major role with which she is associated, Stewart has several, and Pattinson has two (Call it the Cedric Diggory Effect). Summer from Summer's Moon is not iconic enough of a role. I know that even on this blog I am occasionally (and deliberately) guilty of conflating the actress in the film adaptations with the character in the books, and then furthermore conflating the character in the books with my own invented character; we're getting in so deep that if one of my invented characters die they will probably end up in Limbo and they'll miss the kick. (The internet is going to be full of incoherent Inception references for the rest of the summer, I'm just doing my part.)

Taylor Lautner is number one (natch), but the real dark horse is Dakota Fanning, ahead of Ashley Greene at #6. I don't even want to know what people are doing with Dakota Fanning RPF. I don't even want to know about any of it, for that matter. Stop this, okay? Shut it down. S it D.