I'm writing my college apps, and I have absolutely no idea what to say, how to write them, or where to even start. Any words of advice for the biggest case of writers block in the history of the world?
Well, lets put things in perspective here. The biggest case of writer's block in the world happened to Truman Capote, and the runner-up is probably Shane Carruth. You are at best in third place. But I agree, this is serious. I mean, your college application essay is a very important document. A person that your prospective college pays nine dollars an hour is probably going to look at it for 30-45 seconds! SO MUCH PRESSURE!
See what I did there? Relax. I am of the opinion that college application essays are not nearly as important as your teachers would like you to believe. It's just an easy way of getting you to pay attention when they blather on about five paragraph structure. "No, this is important! You won't get into college without it!" You know, I thought about answering this question in the form of a five-paragraph essay, but it's not even worth the effort for the joke!
Now that you're relaxed: what should you write about? I'm not going to give you the bullshit answer, "write about what you care about," because we all know that is easier said than done. Instead: what do you think you CAN write about? Think about a conversation you've had recently. Any subjects you discussed where you felt like you said some witty, insightful shit? Or maybe some subject where you just felt like you had more to say but the conversation moved on to whether or not 2 Broke Girls was still good or something? Start with that.
Worry more about writing well (or at least not writing BADLY) than what your essay is about. Everybody gets their college essays so brutally finessed by teachers and friends these days that a college with its proverbial head on its shoulders probably only uses them to make sure you're not a total idiot. Can you coherently form a few sentences? You'll be fine.
College essays are the red herring of the College Application Process. No more, I say! Let's tear back the curtain. What's really important is whether or not your parents are rich. Your parents are rich, right?
I have a friend at my school who can be really emotionally draining. She constantly texts or facebooks me about the most mundane aspects of her day, usually to complain. I love her to death and she is one of my few friends here, so I don't want to lose her, but I don't really know how to handle this situation. What should I do?
The Age of Connectivity has had a weird effect on some people huh? It's like they had this pressure valve nobody knew about before, and now that they're sharing every thought in their head they can't plug it back up or they'll explode. I guess they used to be the sort of people who called our parents all the time and trapped them in long conversations, so in a way maybe you should be grateful that you only have to READ your friend's neuroses.
Anyway, to get away from this you just have to do the standard drawdown. It's working for Obama in Iraq, and it will work for you. Slow your replies gradually, over the course of a few weeks, until you are only responding once or twice a day. If you do it slowly enough, your friend will almost subliminally follow suit. With any luck, she will have democratically elected a new, stable mental government by 2012. You'll be greeted as a liberator!
A friend was torn between two guys. She eventually let one down gently and dated the other guy for a week. Guy #2 broke it off and she realized how much she cared about Guy #1, and when she asked him out he told her no. When's the appropriate time to say "You were kind of dumb to think he'd wait around for you to change your mind"?
I dig how you've structured this question like a joke: a friend was torn between a rabbi and a Native American. But I guess your question is: when do you get to gloat at your friend? Probably never. Be a good friend and act like both guys were assholes. How dare they have emotions and desires, etc? Fuck those pricks. She's better than them. See?
Got problems? Get at me here. Use the anonymous option. Be advised that the questions are POURING in right now, so I might not get to you for a while. Previously: "But how do you move from 'talkative classmates' to 'fuckative ass-mates'?"
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