23 COSTUME IDEAS

1. John Boehner (orange facepaint, glue on tears)
2. Slutty John Boehner (subtract shirt, add orange chest paint, smoke cigarettes, pronounce it "boner")
3. Sarah Palin (tell people you are going to come to their party and then don't go) (revised from the 2010 version of the costume where you go and then leave halfway through because you can "help the party more" that way)
4. Slutty Barack Obama (say to a girl in a low, sultry voice: "Yes. We. Can." Extra points: be really good at foreplay but terrible at actually doing the deed)
5. Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark (stumble around the house breaking shit and falling)
6. Guy Who Compares Everything To Hitler (someone pours him a drink: "Jeez, you're like the Hitler of the bar, bro)
7. Robot Kanye West (Kanye shades, spout lots of cryptic Illuminati stuff in autotune voice)
8. Robot Jay-Z ("I guess I got my swagger.exe downloaded!")
9. Miranda July and/or Annie Clark (for curly-haired white girls with big eyes: just be really neurotic all night)
10. Slutty Miranda July and/or Annie Clark (read some of Miranda July's short fiction aloud or take off all of your clothes and throw them in the party host's freezer)
11. Dr. Who (just kidding, don't do this, shut up about Dr. Who)
12. The Dark Knight Rises (batman suit, fake or real erection)
13. "Pregnant" Beyonce (wear a fake baby bump, drink excessively, drop baby bump occasionally, get on the phone and yell at surrogate)
14. Julian Assange (sexy gray wig, look at everyone else's phone)
15. Rupert Murdoch (less sexy gray wig, same behavior)
16. Member Of The 99% (just be yourself, you are the revolution! Eat the rich candy!)
17. Slutty Member Of The 99% ("Fuck capitalism! Oh, is your name not 'capitalism'?")
18. Dead Osama (it's still too early for Gaddafi, like I would even avoid Santana costumes lest someone get the wrong idea, but you can have at this one, I think)
19. Slutty Dead Osama (beard+bikini. Say things like: "Are you one of my 72 virgins? No? Good. I'm sick of those prudes.")
20. NYPD Officer (pepper spray)
21. Slutty NYPD Officer (Axe body spray)
22. Slutty Avengers (this is more of a party idea, everyone dresses as an Avenger and fucks each other)
23. Slutty Large Hadron Collider ("Hey girl what do you say we smash our particles together at high speed?")