BLOGGING THE HUNGER GAMES, pt 17: A Tree, Swayed By Wind, Moved

Last time I argued that the Hunger Games was devolving into a videogame. Over the next two chapters, Suzanne Collins (at least starts to) proves me wrong. Previous entries can be found in the directory.

Chapter 17

Remember that Andy Samberg-and-Will Ferrell song “Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions”? It was a pretty effective pop artifact that I'm surprised people don't talk about more. I mean, I knew already that action heroes walking away from explosions was ridiculous, but I think of that song EVERY TIME I see that sort of thing now. A little piece of the melody ends up in my brain, followed by a shout of “JJ Abrams keyboard solo!” And then I laugh inappropriately, because by then the hero is inevitably comforting some half-blown up friend or pretty woman. Anyway, I even thought of that dumb song when I read this chapter, because most of it is Suzanne Collins making the consequences of being near an explosion painfully clear.

Katniss gets knocked on her ass by the exploding food pyramid (was her destruction of it supposed to be a weird commentary about nutrition?) and then shields herself from raining shrapnel. She tries to stand up but finds herself cripplingly dizzy. She also realizes she's gone deaf, and is bleeding from her ears. YIKES. Paralyzing dizziness, deafness, earblood. This is several of my nightmares all rolled into one. This is a nightmare California roll. (I used to work at a sushi place, so sometimes my nightmares involve literal California rolls, too.) Katniss is understandably worried about her situation.

I can't get caught out here on my hands and knees.

Unless Peeta's the one who finds you BOW CHICKA WOW WOW anyway Katniss makes it to the bushes where she hid before just as the Careers run back into their blown-up base. Cato is tearing at his hair and beating his chest with his fists. Now, I barely know this character. I don't even know what he LOOKS LIKE! And still, I hate him? I can't wait for Katniss to put an arrow in his eye or balls or neck for some reason, which is confusing for me. I mean there are plenty of people I'd like to see get an arrow in the eye or balls or neck, but I usually at least know why I want that. Maybe I hate him because he doesn't understand cause and effect? I mean, he had the mines set up around his food stash, and now he's upset that they went off! I guess the implication is that they exploded too much—they should have been able to kill a person and leave the food intact. Still, I feel like congratulations are in order for the kid from District 3 who really wired the shit out of that trap, right?

The boy from District 3 only has time to turn and run before Cato catches him in headlock from behind.

A congratulatory noogie?

I can see the muscles ripple in Cato's arms as he sharply jerks the boy's head to the side.

Oh, okay. Night falls and the Careers go off to hunt and Katniss stays chilling in the bushes for a while. Her hearing is starting to come back in her right ear, but not her left. Dude, Katniss, my ears were rang for TWO DAYS after a TV On The Radio concert, but eventually I was good, so don't worry yet. Katniss stresses about Rue and counts the remaining fighters. There are eight total, though I'm still only vaguely aware of five, so I guess we've got three redshirts to knock out in the next few chapters. Katniss speculates that they'll probably be running little ESPN-style interviews with family members of remaining combatants now, which is a nice little detail. Also: I hope the producers were smart enough to get some b-roll of Peeta running on a foggy beach. That shit is sports-TV gold.

In the morning Katniss wakes up and is able to walk, so she heads to the rendezvous point with Rue. She has difficulty adjusting to only having one good ear; her description of the insecurity it creates on one side reminds me of walking home in Philadelphia when I'd have a hood or winter hat on, when I'd constantly feel like someone was about to jump me from behind. That sounds homophobic, but actually it's only racist. You only need to worry about gay dudes attacking you on South Street, am I right Philly? Pat's and Gino's! Wawa! Some of you know what I'm talking about.

Rue hasn't returned to the meeting place yet, so Katniss waits in a tree for most of the day. She cleans herself up and braids her hair while she waits and gripes about her rumbling stomach, which she can't seem to satisfy despite dipping into her rations a few times. What you need is some PEETA BED I mean pita bread, girl. It's the unleavenedness, I think, that makes it so satisfying. She goes on and on about having a “hollow day” and what that means, and it's obviously a bad omen but I'm pretty sure that's all it is? Are “hollow days” real? I mean I have had days where it seemed like I was hungry all the time but I think it's because I was bored and there was a lot of leftover pizza. I don't think there's a scientific principal behind it.

Eventually she decides to go looking for Rue, but first she does a little agriculture-y trick by spreading some mint leaves around. She knows Rue will know the mint leaves aren't from that part of the arena and will thus know Katniss was around. That doesn't seem 100% though, dude. Maybe spell out “Hi Rue” in the leaves, just to be safe? (I'd be so terrible at Hunger Gaming.)

Then Suzanne Collins has a pretty gnarly set-piece which is only hampered by the fact that all of it takes place in literally half of a page. THERE IS A THING CALLED SUSPENSE, okay? But what happens is Katniss hears a Mockingjay sing Rue's song, then a few more, and knows she is near. Katniss starts singing back, but her song is punctuated by a scream. “YO YO YO FUNKMASTER FLEX WITH THE REMIX, KATNISS AND RUE YOU HEARD? SHOUT OUT TO DRAKE!” Just kidding, it's Rue screaming, and Katniss runs and finds her under a net in a clearing, and as soon as Katniss clears the trees a spear comes flying out and stabs into Rue.

AYAYAYAY! I did not see that happening! Whoever did this is going toe RUE THE DAY okay you know what let's just stop here.